From Denial to Forgiveness

Being new with Celebrate Recovery at Trail we are starting with Step 1 and Principle 1 in the lessons and share groups.

Denial is the main topic. Denial comes in two forms inward and outward. Inward denial is when you really, honestly don't think you have a problem or don't actually feel a problem. Outward denial is knowing on the inside that you do have a problem but are unwilling to admit it to anyone BUT yourself.

For must of us, inward denial is usually short lived; but, just as dangerous as outward denial especially when we look at other people in this world and compare ourselves to them. I know for me I never really had a drug problem as long as I had drugs. Its when I ran out and went into withdrawal is when the problems surfaced!

Once we know we have problems (we all do) we have two choices, deny them, or deal with them. I'm not even going to start with how much suffering and pain denial can ultimatley cause us. That is exactly why the first step in the process of recovery is admitting we need help. This was a really hard one for me. I walked around for many years in outward denial, wearing a mask. Pride was my mask. I could never admit I was weak, that I had problems that I myself couldn't handle.

To me finally admitting I had problems that I couldn't handle on my own and I was powerless over my addictions and compulsions was a refreshing freedom... but a little scary too! All I was doing was admitting I am a sinner and I need to be saved... Thank You God for Your Grace and Mercy. Thank you Jesus for dying for my sins.

I know that I never ever thought I could be forgiven for all the things I had done in my past and that is what kept me in outward denial. Its been many years now, since I made decision to step out of my denial... the blessings are many; a new life, a new outlook, a new freedom to be me. I am a child of God. A loving and forgiving God who loves me and accepts me and forgives me, no matter what I've done

2Co 12:10 For this reason, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in troubles, in persecutions, in distresses on behalf of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.