Posts
WOW! I will never forget that day. The day I gave my heart to the Lord and he completely took away my desire to do drugs! Little did I know what a journey I was about to embark upon. My thankfulness to Jesus for my salvation and dying for me is what keeps me serving Him in this life.
Looking back, that day started not only a journey, but a process of rebuilding a life. Building a new foundation, for a clean and sober life. I had no idea where to start, I was so blessed to have a Christian sponsor to guide me through this process. Thank you Dave for your diligence, teaching me moral excellence. Thank you for the knowledge, the self-control and perseverance you provided, not to mention your brotherly kindness and love. You were truly a Godsend.
Dave is in Heaven now and I think of him often. He taught me a lot as he guided me through the 12 steps.
Before I started my 4th step these are the words he provided me. He assured me that these will help me maintain this newly achieved sobriety.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
(Page 83 and 84 from The Big Book) Alcoholics Anonymous
In our liberal world, 12 step programs have “evolved” (pun intended) into something that the secular world can grasp. Mainly that you don’t really need God. You just need a higher power of any kind. “A god of your understanding” “ a doorknob” The only way a doorknob can be a higher power is if your laying on the floor, right? This liberal world has taken something biblical and made it worldly. This explains the 95% relapse rates of non-Christian recovering people. That’s right NINETY FIVE PERCENT of those who try to recover without giving their life to the Lord Jesus Christ end up failing in one year!
The originators of A.A. took these steps right out of the Holy Bible. According to Dr. Bob, they used the Books of Matthew, James and 1st Corinthians.
This in turn has also been looked upon unfairly by Christians too. Mostly out of ignorance. I’ve encountered quite a few Christians who actually tell me that there is one step to recovery< salvation.
First of all let me tell you a new recovering person is no different than any other baby Christian. The need for growth is what keeps them looking toward Christ. It helps their recovery without question
So do we just let them go on their own? Do we tell them, your saved you have your "get out of Hell free card"ok? This is what a one step program would be right? I hear this from Christians a lot! My response to them is open your Bibles and open your minds. These steps are for biblical discipleship and growth, not salvation.
The Twelve Steps are NOT a stairway to heaven! Getting into Heaven IS a one step process of accepting Jesus as your savior. But discipling or mentoring is the next phase.
Look at what The Bible says in what we know as the “Great Commission”
Mat 28:18 And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.
Mat 28:19 "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,
Mat 28:20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
We recovering people are just those that really just need discipleship. When we get through the first 3 steps and realize how much we need God and his saving power. We need growth and a sponsor/mentor/discipler. These steps are a biblical format for that.When we use the real intended higher power Jesus Christ they work very effectivly for discipleship.
So for my one-step Christian friends I say don't forget about follow up for these baby Christians. We have in our midst a very good program for that and we need not re-invent the wheel.
One more biblical reference that comes from the apostle Peter to his disciples. (notice the steps)
2Pe 1:2 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord;
2Pe 1:3 seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.
2Pe 1:4 For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, in order that by them you might become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.
2Pe 1:5 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge;
2Pe 1:6 and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness;
2Pe 1:7 and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.
2Pe 1:8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
2Pe 1:9 For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins.
2Pe 1:10 Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble;
After all, our goal in recovery is to keep from stumbling. When we fix our eyes upon growing closer to The Lord we will achieve this desire together
With Love
Steve
Monday, January 2, 2012
Sunday, July 10, 2011
TOP 5 RECOVERY QUESTIONS
The Top 5 Questions About Recovery
I will never forget my first recovery meeting I went to in the 1990's. Someone I love very much "got caught" with marijuana and was required to go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and I went with them just for support. At the time I never considered myself as having any problem with drugs even though I had some in my pocket at the meeting!
Being in recovery for over 9 years now I debate a lot with other recovery leaders and ministers about certain questions regarding recovery, just like theologians debate biblical doctrine. When things get said that I personally don’t agree with I have learned to listen and keep an open mind in respect to others that are helping those on the path of recovering from addiction.
The first question I want to ask is
When is a person “In Recovery”?
I have heard varying answers to this question From "well it was the day I hit bottom" to "It starts in step 3" to "when I had my moment of clarity and realized I need to stop doing what I am doing" and a few more
But to put a finer point on it I think we need to explore the differences in; being in recovery as opposed to, thinking I need recovery. We also need to define the difference of; When did my journey of recovery start? As compared to being in recovery officially.
Realizing you need recovery is crucial to your hope of recovering, but realization is just the start of your journey (hopefully). Some people go for years knowing what they are doing is wrong but do nothing to change it. Some of these people come to 12 step meetings, but they are not in recovery. Don't get me wrong it is a great thing that these people are courageously making the journey to attend a recovery meeting. I know how hard it is to walk through the door when you are the required person to be there, and for the most part the people who do take this step of attending usually do "get it" and start the process of recovery. Recovery meetings are an important part of recovery but just because you attend a meeting doesn't mean you are in recovery, anymore than just attending church makes you a Christian. However being there is a crucial step to take in the journey.
So what is the answer? Quite simply; a person is in recovery when they say they are in recovery. A straightforward declaration but an important step in what it means to the outlook of the individual making the statement.
This declaration is very important and I can think of two distinct parallels to how important a declaration can be.
First look at the birth of our country as a country. We celebrate the day we declared (4th of July) our independence not the day we defeated England. On that day we took a stand as a nation that we wanted change, that we were ready for battle.
The second parallel is right out of the Holy Bible in the book of Romans when the apostle Paul talks about being saved. But what does it say? "The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart" (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.
(Rom 10:8-10)
A declaration can be the start of something extremely important.
The mindset is priceless. If we are to truly change and make it happen the words must come out of our mouth “I am in recovery”
Next week; Question 2 Can I trust the process?
I will never forget my first recovery meeting I went to in the 1990's. Someone I love very much "got caught" with marijuana and was required to go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and I went with them just for support. At the time I never considered myself as having any problem with drugs even though I had some in my pocket at the meeting!
Being in recovery for over 9 years now I debate a lot with other recovery leaders and ministers about certain questions regarding recovery, just like theologians debate biblical doctrine. When things get said that I personally don’t agree with I have learned to listen and keep an open mind in respect to others that are helping those on the path of recovering from addiction.
The first question I want to ask is
When is a person “In Recovery”?
I have heard varying answers to this question From "well it was the day I hit bottom" to "It starts in step 3" to "when I had my moment of clarity and realized I need to stop doing what I am doing" and a few more
But to put a finer point on it I think we need to explore the differences in; being in recovery as opposed to, thinking I need recovery. We also need to define the difference of; When did my journey of recovery start? As compared to being in recovery officially.
Realizing you need recovery is crucial to your hope of recovering, but realization is just the start of your journey (hopefully). Some people go for years knowing what they are doing is wrong but do nothing to change it. Some of these people come to 12 step meetings, but they are not in recovery. Don't get me wrong it is a great thing that these people are courageously making the journey to attend a recovery meeting. I know how hard it is to walk through the door when you are the required person to be there, and for the most part the people who do take this step of attending usually do "get it" and start the process of recovery. Recovery meetings are an important part of recovery but just because you attend a meeting doesn't mean you are in recovery, anymore than just attending church makes you a Christian. However being there is a crucial step to take in the journey.
So what is the answer? Quite simply; a person is in recovery when they say they are in recovery. A straightforward declaration but an important step in what it means to the outlook of the individual making the statement.
This declaration is very important and I can think of two distinct parallels to how important a declaration can be.
First look at the birth of our country as a country. We celebrate the day we declared (4th of July) our independence not the day we defeated England. On that day we took a stand as a nation that we wanted change, that we were ready for battle.
The second parallel is right out of the Holy Bible in the book of Romans when the apostle Paul talks about being saved. But what does it say? "The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart" (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.
(Rom 10:8-10)
A declaration can be the start of something extremely important.
The mindset is priceless. If we are to truly change and make it happen the words must come out of our mouth “I am in recovery”
Next week; Question 2 Can I trust the process?
Friday, April 15, 2011
Is Drug Addiction Curable?
“These medications really do help...” Did she really just say that?... I’m sorry was I hearing her right? I had been fighting addiction and drug use my whole life, consequently here I am arrested, broken, here against my will, subject of court authority, to check into drug rehab and they are offering me more drugs? I politely declined the intake person’s offer of a new prescription. Even I knew myself well enough that I couldn’t and wouldn’t try another “new drug.” This wasn’t my first experience in trying to abstain from drugs, but it was my first encounter with drug rehabilitation as an institution.
That was spring of 2002 when my journey into the recovery process started. I was one of the fortunate ones. One of the minority who actually, would find a way out from drug addiction. A way that saw me lose my desire to ingest the methamphetamine that my body so craved. I was thrilled when this happened to me. Initially I thought the process of rehabilitation was generally successful for everyone. Over the next few years, as I became more and more engaged in the world of drug rehab, I realized the astronomical failure rate of this process. By the time 2004 had rolled around I found myself enrolled in a college program to become a certified drug and alcohol counselor (CADC) and working as an intern in a 22-patient rehab inpatient facility. (Genesis Recovery Center)
That’s when reality slapped me in the face. I kept seeing the vast majority of patients failing in their attempts/our attempts to heal them. It was disheartening to say the least. I mean just about everyone knows that drug and alcohol addiction is a major problem in our society. Addiction is hard for many people to understand and is hard for many people to have compassion for. My best description of the hunger of addiction is just that—it is a true hunger—just like that feeling you have when you wake up in the morning for something to eat or drink. It is that addiction to drugs and alcohol, that hunger, that desire that causes addicts to do virtually anything to get their drug to satisfy that hunger, consequently when an addict is in full blown addiction they many times turn to crime.
In many communities across America (including our own) drug addiction is a major cause of crime. The Untied States government is well aware of this and has dedicated billions of dollars towards this industry of “drug prevention” so far, it has not resulted in success of curing drug addiction and/or Alcoholism. The simple fact remains, we are having very little success and we need a solution! Thankfully the U.S. Government has branched out and is experiencing very positive results in a different approach to recovery from addiction. Just recently there has been a shift in some of the funding of government dollars to find a more acceptable path to recovery instead of what has become known publicly as “ drug re-hab,” the results of this new approach are eye-opening. The percentage of people actually finding recovery at faith based institutions has been very promising; it seems we have found a more successful way. Fueled by this hope we continue in the process to cure addiction and to find answers to this problem, when we look at the current reality. Secular drug and alcohol treatment centers are highly ineffective, consequently the recidivism rate is unacceptable. Drug and alcohol addiction is a major problem in our society and our local community. Drug addiction/abuse causes the crime rate to increase, and causes families to breakup and struggle, therefore we still need a viable solution to this problem. Thankfully, we are seeing new, and verifiable breakthroughs in faith based recovery.
What a joy life is when you are drug and alcohol free! I spent over 20 years of my life being addicted to something, when I became clean and sober I was so thankful to the process I wanted to give something back. That’s when I decided to enroll in college at 42 years old and become an alcohol and drug counselor. In school is where I learned a lot of psychology and statistics not to mention treatment approaches to help victims of addiction recover. The psychology in general was very educational in many ways and I saw some of it applied later in my internship. I also saw many different secular treatment methods being put to use. I commend those of who have dedicated their lives to this process and we all recognize the major societal problems addiction brings.
To make one clarification and the ease of understanding I take the issue of alcoholism and drug addiction as the same thing, as alcohol is defined as a drug, so the two terms alcoholic and drug addict are interchangeable. With that being said, this addiction problem and problems to society are widespread. For example, alcoholics are just as likely to get married as non-alcoholics, however their divorce or separation rate is at least four times that of the general population.(Clarke-Stewart) More evidence of this shows in an independent study by a non-profit organization. The study shows that there is a strong correlation between alcohol abuse and domestic violence, legal and financial problems, job loss, and sexual dysfunction.(Rand) Anyone would acknowledge these realities as major societal problems. So what have the current secular attempts to deal with this problem been? Here is an excerpt from NIDA (National Institute on Drug Abuse) this is one answer to the question; what is drug addiction treatment?
Treatment medications, such as methadone, buprenorphine, and naltrexone, are available for individuals addicted to opioids, while nicotine preparations (patches, gum, lozenges, and nasal spray) and the medications varenicline and bupropion are available for individuals addicted to tobacco. Disulfiram, acamprosate, naltrexone, and topiramate are medications used for treating alcohol dependence, which commonly co-occurs with other drug addictions. In fact, most people with severe addiction are polydrug users and require treatment for all substances abused. Even combined alcohol and tobacco use has proven amenable to concurrent treatment for both substances.
Psychoactive medications, such as antidepressants, antianxiety agents, mood stabilizers, and antipsychotic medications, may be critical for treatment success when patients have co-occurring mental disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders (including post-traumatic stress disorder), bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia.(NIDA)
In short Medication or more drugs seems to be a big part of their overall treatment concept. In my experience these medications usually contribute to the unsuccessful or pointless effort of leading someone to true recovery. Don't get me wrong there are a few cases where these can be temporarily beneficial and I am quite sure that those involved with secular recovery would jump to these methods’ defense. The reality is, the statistics do not reflect their success. The recidivism rate admitted by most of these institutions is over 80%(Morales).
The other teaching in secular rehab is that addiction is not curable, it is only manageable. That the urge to drink or use is a disease that never fully goes away (King) this is the main argument I would like to focus on. The people in the secular rehab—with this admission--would seem to throw water on their whole industry! So with defeat in mind the secular rehab people have relegated themselves to the next best thing. If you can’t kill the addiction, manage it. They have focused on keeping addicts at bay, employed, and out of jail. This has become their main focus. They keep addicts in lockdown or under strict supervision for periods of time and try to educate them, all the while, many relapse as soon as they leave while some can hold out for as long as 30 to 60 days before they relapse. I read a recent article (January 27, 2011) in the local paper entitled “Someone to watch over me” about an addict that was interviewed as a “Success Story” and was celebrating 1 year clean and sober at a local rehab center for mom’s. Here is what the reporter stated the addict told her of her experience after a year of lockdown in this facility “She said she still has cravings for drugs, but part of the treatment she goes through helps her deal with her deep-seated problems.” (Mann) The article went on to about how successful this program was at saving the government money, because it delays the children’s entry into the foster care system.
Locking addicts in does not cure addiction. I am quite sure this mom’s child would rather have her mom cured of addiction.
Addiction also causes the crime rate to increase.In addition to stopping drug abuse, the goal of treatment is to return people to productive functioning in the family, workplace, and community. According to research that tracks individuals in treatment over extended periods, most people who get into and remain in treatment stop using drugs, decrease their criminal activity, and improve their occupational, social, and psychological functioning. For example, methadone treatment has been shown to increase participation in behavioral therapy and decrease both illicit drug use and criminal behavior.
Data collected from male arrestees in 1998 in 35 cities showed that the percentage testing positive for any drug ranged from 42.5 percent in Anchorage, Alaska, to 78.7 percent in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Female arrestees testing positive ranged from 33.3 percent in Laredo, Texas, to 82.1 percent in New York, New York. Male arrestees charged with drug possession or sales were among the most likely to test positive for drug use, while female arrestees charged with prostitution, drug possession, or sales were among the most likely to elicit a positive test result. Males and females arrested for stolen vehicles, robbery, and burglary also had high positive rates. Test results further showed that opiate use demonstrated a positive correlation to polydrug use: of the individuals who tested positive for opiates, three-fourths also tested positive for another drug (NICD)
As a result of these numbers the secular drug rehab centers have tried to stop the rampant use of illicit drugs by using programs that center around the use of legal or government provided legal drugs such as methadone. By their own admission they are not able to cure anyone. These programs are just a cost savings band aid that produces very little healing. They do however succeed in reducing the crime rate. They still have a very high recidivism rate and have resulted in people basically walking around like zombies. Granted, they are not committing crimes but they have no quality of life.
There is good news. There is a relatively new breed of rehabilitation available through a government program called Access to Recovery. This program was kicked off by President George W. Bush in 2003 and has resulted in new levels of success. It started with 5 states and up to the present time has grown with remarkable success that even the next (Obama) administration has funded 30 states for this program in 2011. What is the difference in this program? It has funding available for the clients choice of programs and 60% of the funding is going to faith based organizations such as churches and other “non-traditional” forms of recovery. The numbers are astonishing. For example 71.4% of those in the Access to Recovery program have achieved complete abstinence of all substances, legal or illegal. 96% are now free from the criminal justice system, 91% are connected socially with other recovery groups or social support groups. 49% are employed. (Morales)
How do they do it? Through faith based Christian organizations and Christian rehab centers people are actually transformed and given power through the Holy Spirit that conquers addiction. Plain and simple these numbers do not lie, the success seen through Christian centered rehabs is astounding.
President Bush implemented this program because he had personal experience with this healing power. My story was quite similar to his. Part of my recovery process was to attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings that teach the concept of having a higher power. I was truly blessed to have a Christian sponsor who led me to Jesus and the saving power of the God in the Bible. The day I gave my life to Him I completely lost the desire to take drugs. It was my faith in Him that cured me, my decision to believe.
I realize there are many in our society that cannot grasp the concept of God. I say to them take a look around you, realize that these drugs are the devil’s tools. They are evil, and secular man is powerless against evil. This is why the people in secular rehab centers have given up trying to cure addiction. This is why we still have ever increasing crime rates. This is a large part of why there is so much dysfunction in our society. I call this discovery by our government a remarkable breakthrough. (for them)
The exciting part for me is these funds have been approved for Oregon this year and in Jackson County there is a new Access to Recovery office. Our area has a terrible problem with drug addiction and I am excited to see this program to become available. Currently there is only one Christian recovery center in Jackson County even though there are a few Christian churches that offer a Christ centered 12 step programs. We have had much success at Trail Christian Fellowship with the Celebrate Recovery program. We have seen people truly recover from addiction. They have completely lost the cravings and of those who have completed our step studies—not one person has relapsed!—this is an amazing process that is working on a local level.
However many in our area do not have access or even know about these programs. There are some in our area that work at secular centers that doubt a church’s ability to cure anyone of addiction and are very skeptical that this process works. I say we prove to them that there really is a better way. We do not have to put up with mans inability to cure addiction. We do not have to put up with unacceptable recidivism rates at drug rehabilitation centers. We do not have to have these high crime rates. These breakthroughs at Christian rehab centers are a true reality
The time to act is now. We need Christian recovery centers in our area. We have a solution to one of our community’s greatest problems. We have a drug (methamphetamine) that is rampant in our area. We have the ability as the body of Christ to help in this area especially now. So with that being said I would like to share some words of encouragement with a quote from Ronald Reagan “The Great Communicator” said it best in one of his speeches from early in his tenure as President. Reagan was trying to pull the country out of economic turmoil “We have much greatness before us, we can restore the economy and build opportunities like none we've ever had before. All we need to begin with is a dream, a dream that we can do better than before. All we need to have is faith and that dream will come true. All we need to do is act, and the time for action is now.” (Brokaw) In the recovery field in Jackson County we have a great opportunity before us to help those held captive by addiction. Do you have anyone in your life, in your circle of friends or family that needs help in this area… real help? I get many calls being a lay minister for Celebrate Recovery from people that need intensive treatment. I currently have nowhere to send them in good conscience. We can solve this problem.
That was spring of 2002 when my journey into the recovery process started. I was one of the fortunate ones. One of the minority who actually, would find a way out from drug addiction. A way that saw me lose my desire to ingest the methamphetamine that my body so craved. I was thrilled when this happened to me. Initially I thought the process of rehabilitation was generally successful for everyone. Over the next few years, as I became more and more engaged in the world of drug rehab, I realized the astronomical failure rate of this process. By the time 2004 had rolled around I found myself enrolled in a college program to become a certified drug and alcohol counselor (CADC) and working as an intern in a 22-patient rehab inpatient facility. (Genesis Recovery Center)
That’s when reality slapped me in the face. I kept seeing the vast majority of patients failing in their attempts/our attempts to heal them. It was disheartening to say the least. I mean just about everyone knows that drug and alcohol addiction is a major problem in our society. Addiction is hard for many people to understand and is hard for many people to have compassion for. My best description of the hunger of addiction is just that—it is a true hunger—just like that feeling you have when you wake up in the morning for something to eat or drink. It is that addiction to drugs and alcohol, that hunger, that desire that causes addicts to do virtually anything to get their drug to satisfy that hunger, consequently when an addict is in full blown addiction they many times turn to crime.
In many communities across America (including our own) drug addiction is a major cause of crime. The Untied States government is well aware of this and has dedicated billions of dollars towards this industry of “drug prevention” so far, it has not resulted in success of curing drug addiction and/or Alcoholism. The simple fact remains, we are having very little success and we need a solution! Thankfully the U.S. Government has branched out and is experiencing very positive results in a different approach to recovery from addiction. Just recently there has been a shift in some of the funding of government dollars to find a more acceptable path to recovery instead of what has become known publicly as “ drug re-hab,” the results of this new approach are eye-opening. The percentage of people actually finding recovery at faith based institutions has been very promising; it seems we have found a more successful way. Fueled by this hope we continue in the process to cure addiction and to find answers to this problem, when we look at the current reality. Secular drug and alcohol treatment centers are highly ineffective, consequently the recidivism rate is unacceptable. Drug and alcohol addiction is a major problem in our society and our local community. Drug addiction/abuse causes the crime rate to increase, and causes families to breakup and struggle, therefore we still need a viable solution to this problem. Thankfully, we are seeing new, and verifiable breakthroughs in faith based recovery.
What a joy life is when you are drug and alcohol free! I spent over 20 years of my life being addicted to something, when I became clean and sober I was so thankful to the process I wanted to give something back. That’s when I decided to enroll in college at 42 years old and become an alcohol and drug counselor. In school is where I learned a lot of psychology and statistics not to mention treatment approaches to help victims of addiction recover. The psychology in general was very educational in many ways and I saw some of it applied later in my internship. I also saw many different secular treatment methods being put to use. I commend those of who have dedicated their lives to this process and we all recognize the major societal problems addiction brings.
To make one clarification and the ease of understanding I take the issue of alcoholism and drug addiction as the same thing, as alcohol is defined as a drug, so the two terms alcoholic and drug addict are interchangeable. With that being said, this addiction problem and problems to society are widespread. For example, alcoholics are just as likely to get married as non-alcoholics, however their divorce or separation rate is at least four times that of the general population.(Clarke-Stewart) More evidence of this shows in an independent study by a non-profit organization. The study shows that there is a strong correlation between alcohol abuse and domestic violence, legal and financial problems, job loss, and sexual dysfunction.(Rand) Anyone would acknowledge these realities as major societal problems. So what have the current secular attempts to deal with this problem been? Here is an excerpt from NIDA (National Institute on Drug Abuse) this is one answer to the question; what is drug addiction treatment?
Treatment medications, such as methadone, buprenorphine, and naltrexone, are available for individuals addicted to opioids, while nicotine preparations (patches, gum, lozenges, and nasal spray) and the medications varenicline and bupropion are available for individuals addicted to tobacco. Disulfiram, acamprosate, naltrexone, and topiramate are medications used for treating alcohol dependence, which commonly co-occurs with other drug addictions. In fact, most people with severe addiction are polydrug users and require treatment for all substances abused. Even combined alcohol and tobacco use has proven amenable to concurrent treatment for both substances.
Psychoactive medications, such as antidepressants, antianxiety agents, mood stabilizers, and antipsychotic medications, may be critical for treatment success when patients have co-occurring mental disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders (including post-traumatic stress disorder), bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia.(NIDA)
In short Medication or more drugs seems to be a big part of their overall treatment concept. In my experience these medications usually contribute to the unsuccessful or pointless effort of leading someone to true recovery. Don't get me wrong there are a few cases where these can be temporarily beneficial and I am quite sure that those involved with secular recovery would jump to these methods’ defense. The reality is, the statistics do not reflect their success. The recidivism rate admitted by most of these institutions is over 80%(Morales).
The other teaching in secular rehab is that addiction is not curable, it is only manageable. That the urge to drink or use is a disease that never fully goes away (King) this is the main argument I would like to focus on. The people in the secular rehab—with this admission--would seem to throw water on their whole industry! So with defeat in mind the secular rehab people have relegated themselves to the next best thing. If you can’t kill the addiction, manage it. They have focused on keeping addicts at bay, employed, and out of jail. This has become their main focus. They keep addicts in lockdown or under strict supervision for periods of time and try to educate them, all the while, many relapse as soon as they leave while some can hold out for as long as 30 to 60 days before they relapse. I read a recent article (January 27, 2011) in the local paper entitled “Someone to watch over me” about an addict that was interviewed as a “Success Story” and was celebrating 1 year clean and sober at a local rehab center for mom’s. Here is what the reporter stated the addict told her of her experience after a year of lockdown in this facility “She said she still has cravings for drugs, but part of the treatment she goes through helps her deal with her deep-seated problems.” (Mann) The article went on to about how successful this program was at saving the government money, because it delays the children’s entry into the foster care system.
Locking addicts in does not cure addiction. I am quite sure this mom’s child would rather have her mom cured of addiction.
Addiction also causes the crime rate to increase.In addition to stopping drug abuse, the goal of treatment is to return people to productive functioning in the family, workplace, and community. According to research that tracks individuals in treatment over extended periods, most people who get into and remain in treatment stop using drugs, decrease their criminal activity, and improve their occupational, social, and psychological functioning. For example, methadone treatment has been shown to increase participation in behavioral therapy and decrease both illicit drug use and criminal behavior.
Data collected from male arrestees in 1998 in 35 cities showed that the percentage testing positive for any drug ranged from 42.5 percent in Anchorage, Alaska, to 78.7 percent in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Female arrestees testing positive ranged from 33.3 percent in Laredo, Texas, to 82.1 percent in New York, New York. Male arrestees charged with drug possession or sales were among the most likely to test positive for drug use, while female arrestees charged with prostitution, drug possession, or sales were among the most likely to elicit a positive test result. Males and females arrested for stolen vehicles, robbery, and burglary also had high positive rates. Test results further showed that opiate use demonstrated a positive correlation to polydrug use: of the individuals who tested positive for opiates, three-fourths also tested positive for another drug (NICD)
As a result of these numbers the secular drug rehab centers have tried to stop the rampant use of illicit drugs by using programs that center around the use of legal or government provided legal drugs such as methadone. By their own admission they are not able to cure anyone. These programs are just a cost savings band aid that produces very little healing. They do however succeed in reducing the crime rate. They still have a very high recidivism rate and have resulted in people basically walking around like zombies. Granted, they are not committing crimes but they have no quality of life.
There is good news. There is a relatively new breed of rehabilitation available through a government program called Access to Recovery. This program was kicked off by President George W. Bush in 2003 and has resulted in new levels of success. It started with 5 states and up to the present time has grown with remarkable success that even the next (Obama) administration has funded 30 states for this program in 2011. What is the difference in this program? It has funding available for the clients choice of programs and 60% of the funding is going to faith based organizations such as churches and other “non-traditional” forms of recovery. The numbers are astonishing. For example 71.4% of those in the Access to Recovery program have achieved complete abstinence of all substances, legal or illegal. 96% are now free from the criminal justice system, 91% are connected socially with other recovery groups or social support groups. 49% are employed. (Morales)
How do they do it? Through faith based Christian organizations and Christian rehab centers people are actually transformed and given power through the Holy Spirit that conquers addiction. Plain and simple these numbers do not lie, the success seen through Christian centered rehabs is astounding.
President Bush implemented this program because he had personal experience with this healing power. My story was quite similar to his. Part of my recovery process was to attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings that teach the concept of having a higher power. I was truly blessed to have a Christian sponsor who led me to Jesus and the saving power of the God in the Bible. The day I gave my life to Him I completely lost the desire to take drugs. It was my faith in Him that cured me, my decision to believe.
I realize there are many in our society that cannot grasp the concept of God. I say to them take a look around you, realize that these drugs are the devil’s tools. They are evil, and secular man is powerless against evil. This is why the people in secular rehab centers have given up trying to cure addiction. This is why we still have ever increasing crime rates. This is a large part of why there is so much dysfunction in our society. I call this discovery by our government a remarkable breakthrough. (for them)
The exciting part for me is these funds have been approved for Oregon this year and in Jackson County there is a new Access to Recovery office. Our area has a terrible problem with drug addiction and I am excited to see this program to become available. Currently there is only one Christian recovery center in Jackson County even though there are a few Christian churches that offer a Christ centered 12 step programs. We have had much success at Trail Christian Fellowship with the Celebrate Recovery program. We have seen people truly recover from addiction. They have completely lost the cravings and of those who have completed our step studies—not one person has relapsed!—this is an amazing process that is working on a local level.
However many in our area do not have access or even know about these programs. There are some in our area that work at secular centers that doubt a church’s ability to cure anyone of addiction and are very skeptical that this process works. I say we prove to them that there really is a better way. We do not have to put up with mans inability to cure addiction. We do not have to put up with unacceptable recidivism rates at drug rehabilitation centers. We do not have to have these high crime rates. These breakthroughs at Christian rehab centers are a true reality
The time to act is now. We need Christian recovery centers in our area. We have a solution to one of our community’s greatest problems. We have a drug (methamphetamine) that is rampant in our area. We have the ability as the body of Christ to help in this area especially now. So with that being said I would like to share some words of encouragement with a quote from Ronald Reagan “The Great Communicator” said it best in one of his speeches from early in his tenure as President. Reagan was trying to pull the country out of economic turmoil “We have much greatness before us, we can restore the economy and build opportunities like none we've ever had before. All we need to begin with is a dream, a dream that we can do better than before. All we need to have is faith and that dream will come true. All we need to do is act, and the time for action is now.” (Brokaw) In the recovery field in Jackson County we have a great opportunity before us to help those held captive by addiction. Do you have anyone in your life, in your circle of friends or family that needs help in this area… real help? I get many calls being a lay minister for Celebrate Recovery from people that need intensive treatment. I currently have nowhere to send them in good conscience. We can solve this problem.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Remain in Him
Jesus is THE Power
The most famous verse in the whole Bible is probably John 3:16, which says,
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
You’ve undoubtably seen it on signs at sporting events, written on t-shirts, posted on billboards and even on drink cups at some fast food restaurants. And for good reason, it’s an amazing verse! Here’s Jesus telling us about why He came, who sent Him, and what happens for those who put their faith in Him. It’s a great snapshot of the Gospel message. If you’ve never begun the habit of memorizing Scripture, start with this one.
While John 3:16 is an amazing verse, John 3:17 is just as compelling. Jesus continues by telling us,
“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”
That’s a reassuring statement! Look at the two verses together; first, God loves us enough to send us a Savior, next, if we put our faith in Jesus, if we trust Him as our Lord and Savior, we will have eternal life, and Jesus wasn’t sent to condemn the world as some would have us believe, but to save the world.
That’s where the power for a changed life comes from, from the Savior of the world. Jesus gives us the power for a new life, for a life of freedom from our hurts, hang-ups and habits, but we have to bring them to Him and trust Him to heal us. As we go through Celebrate Recovery we need to ensure that Jesus is the center of our program. We can not do this on our own power. To find change, lasting change, we need to depend wholly on Jesus.
Today, ask yourself, have you been relying on Jesus’ power or your own? If you’ve been relying on Christ’s power, keep it up. Don’t get distracted, don’t stray from the path. But if you find that you’ve begun to rely on anything other than Jesus, a relationship, willpower, a new habit, anything, don’t wait to refocus your attention to Jesus. We all have the tendency to take our eyes off of Jesus, but when we realize we’ve done that, we need to turn to Him in prayer and ask Him for His help to remain focused on and in Him.
Later in the Book of John, Jesus tells us:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
Jesus isn’t a part of recovery, He is recovery. If we want to live a new life, a life free from hurts, hang-ups and habits, we must remain in Jesus. It is only by and through Jesus that you and I can have new lives here on earth, and eternal life in heaven.
Today, what can you do to make sure that you remain in Jesus?
If you find that you have begun to focus on anything else, are you ready to make today the day you focus on Jesus as your Lord and Savior, as your Higher Power?
Don’t put it off any longer. Remember, Jesus didn’t come to condemn us, but to save us.
.
The most famous verse in the whole Bible is probably John 3:16, which says,
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
You’ve undoubtably seen it on signs at sporting events, written on t-shirts, posted on billboards and even on drink cups at some fast food restaurants. And for good reason, it’s an amazing verse! Here’s Jesus telling us about why He came, who sent Him, and what happens for those who put their faith in Him. It’s a great snapshot of the Gospel message. If you’ve never begun the habit of memorizing Scripture, start with this one.
While John 3:16 is an amazing verse, John 3:17 is just as compelling. Jesus continues by telling us,
“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”
That’s a reassuring statement! Look at the two verses together; first, God loves us enough to send us a Savior, next, if we put our faith in Jesus, if we trust Him as our Lord and Savior, we will have eternal life, and Jesus wasn’t sent to condemn the world as some would have us believe, but to save the world.
That’s where the power for a changed life comes from, from the Savior of the world. Jesus gives us the power for a new life, for a life of freedom from our hurts, hang-ups and habits, but we have to bring them to Him and trust Him to heal us. As we go through Celebrate Recovery we need to ensure that Jesus is the center of our program. We can not do this on our own power. To find change, lasting change, we need to depend wholly on Jesus.
Today, ask yourself, have you been relying on Jesus’ power or your own? If you’ve been relying on Christ’s power, keep it up. Don’t get distracted, don’t stray from the path. But if you find that you’ve begun to rely on anything other than Jesus, a relationship, willpower, a new habit, anything, don’t wait to refocus your attention to Jesus. We all have the tendency to take our eyes off of Jesus, but when we realize we’ve done that, we need to turn to Him in prayer and ask Him for His help to remain focused on and in Him.
Later in the Book of John, Jesus tells us:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
Jesus isn’t a part of recovery, He is recovery. If we want to live a new life, a life free from hurts, hang-ups and habits, we must remain in Jesus. It is only by and through Jesus that you and I can have new lives here on earth, and eternal life in heaven.
Today, what can you do to make sure that you remain in Jesus?
If you find that you have begun to focus on anything else, are you ready to make today the day you focus on Jesus as your Lord and Savior, as your Higher Power?
Don’t put it off any longer. Remember, Jesus didn’t come to condemn us, but to save us.
.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Powerless
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Romans 7:18)
In Step 1, we realize we’re not God. We admit we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and that our lives have become unmanageable.
As soon as we take this step and admit that we are powerless, we start to change. We see that our old ways of trying to control our hurts, hang-ups, and habits didn’t work. They were buried by our denial and held on to with our false power.
Today I would like you to focus on four actions: two things we have to stop doing and two things we need to start doing in our recoveries. We need to take these four actions to complete Principle 1.
Four Actions
In my last writing we talked about the first action we need to take.
1. Stop denying the pain.
We said that our denial had at least six negative effects: It disables our feelings, wastes our energy, negates our growth, isolates us from God, alienates us from our relationships, and lengthens our pain.
You are ready to accept Principle 1 when your pain is greater than your fear. In Psalm 6:2–3 (TLB) David talks about a time when he came to the end of his emotional and physical resources: “Pity me, O LORD, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom.” When David’s pain finally surpassed his fear, he was able to face his denial and feel the reality of his pain. In the same way, if you want to be rid of your pain, you must face it and go through it.
The second action we need to take is to
2. Stop playing God.
You are either going to serve God or yourself. You can’t do both! Matthew 6:24 (GNB) says, “No one can be a slave to two masters; he will hate one and love the other; he will be loyal to one and despise the other.”
Another term for serving “ourselves” is serving the “flesh.” Flesh is the Bible’s word for our unperfected human nature, our sin nature.
I love this illustration: If you leave the h off the end of flesh and reverse the remaining letters, you spell the word self. Flesh is the self-life. It is what we are when we are left to our own devices.
When our “self” is out of control, all attempts at control—of self or others—fail. In fact, our attempt to control ourselves and others is what got us into trouble in the first place. God needs to be the one in control.
There are two jobs: God’s and mine! We have been trying to do God’s job, and we can’t!
On the flip side, He won’t do our job. We need to do the footwork! We need to admit that we are not God and that our lives are unmanageable without Him. Then, when we have finally emptied ourselves, God will have room to come in and begin His healing work.
Let’s go on now to the third action we need to take:
3. Start admitting our powerlessness.
The lust of power is not rooted in our strengths but our weaknesses. We need to realize our human weaknesses and quit trying to do it by ourselves. We need to admit that we are powerless and turn our lives over to God. Jesus knew how difficult this is. He said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).
When we keep doing things that we don’t want to do and when we fail to do the things we’ve decided we need to do, we begin to see that we do not, in fact, have the power to change that we thought we had. Life is coming into focus more clearly than ever before.
The last action we need to take is to
4. Start admitting that our lives have become unmanageable.
The only reason we consider that there’s something wrong, or that we need to talk to somebody, or that we need to take this step is because we finally are able to admit that some area—or all areas—of our lives have become unmanageable!
It is with this admission that you finally realize you are out of control and are powerless to do anything on your own. When I got to this part of my recovery I shared David’s feelings that he expressed in Psalm 40:12 (TLB): “Problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head. Meanwhile my sins, too many to count, have all caught up with me and I am ashamed to look up.”
Does that sound familiar? Only when your pain is greater than your fear will you be ready to honestly take the first step, admitting that you are powerless and your life is unmanageable.
what happens when we admit we are POWERLESS. We begin to give up the following “serenity robbers”:
Pride
Only ifs
Worry
Escape
Resentment
Loneliness
Emptiness
Selfishness
Separation
The first letter in the acrostic is P. We start to see that we no longer are trapped by our PRIDE: “Pride ends in a fall, while humility brings honor” (Proverbs 29:23, TLB).
Ignorance + power + pride = a deadly mixture
Our false pride undermines our faith and it cuts us off from God and others. When God’s presence is welcome, there is no room for pride because He makes us aware of our true self.
Next we begin to lose the ONLY ifs. That’s the O in Powerless.
Have you ever had a case of the “only ifs”?
Only if they hadn’t walked out.
Only if I had stopped drinking.
Only if this. Only if that.
How reluctantly the mind consents to reality. But when we admit that we are powerless, we start walking in the truth, rather than living in the fantasy land of rationalization.
Luke 12:2–3 (GNB) tells us: “Whatever is covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. So then, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in broad daylight.”
The next letter in powerless is the W, which stands for WORRYING. And don’t tell me that worrying doesn’t do any good; I know better. The things I worry about never happen!
All worrying is a form of not trusting God enough! Instead of worrying about things that we cannot possibly do, we need to focus on what God can do. Keep a copy of the Serenity Prayer in your pocket and your heart to remind you.
By working this program and completing the steps you can find that trust, that relationship, with the one and only Higher Power, Jesus Christ, so that the worrying begins to go away.
Matthew 6:34 (TLB) tells us, “Don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time.”
The next thing that happens when we admit we are powerless is that we quit trying to ESCAPE. That’s the E.
Before we admitted we were powerless, we tried to escape and hide from our hurts, habits, and hang-ups by getting involved in unhealthy relationships, by abusing drugs such as alcohol, by eating or not eating, and so forth.
Trying to escape pain drains us of precious energy. When we take this first step, however, God opens true escape routes to show His power and grace. “For the light is capable of showing up everything for what it really is. It is possible for the light to turn the thing it shines upon into light also” (Ephesians 5:13–14, PH).
The R in powerless stands for RESENTMENTS.
If they are suppressed and allowed to fester, resentments can act like emotional cancer.
Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:26–27: “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
As you continue to work the principles, you will come to understand that in letting go of your resentments, by offering your forgiveness to those that have hurt you, you are not just freeing the person who harmed you, you are freeing you!
But if we try to maintain our false power, we become isolated and alone. That’s the L in powerless: LONELINESS.
When you admit that you are powerless and start to face reality, you will find that you do not have to be alone.
Do you know that loneliness is a choice? In recovery and in Christ, you never have to walk alone again.
Do you know that caring for the lonely can cure loneliness? Get involved! Get involved in the church or in your neighborhood or here at Celebrate Recovery! If you become a regular here, I guarantee that you won’t be lonely.
“Continue to love each other with true brotherly love. Don’t forget to be kind to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!” (Hebrews 13:1–2, TLB).
When you admit you are powerless you also give up another E, the EMPTINESS.
When you finally admit that you are truly powerless by yourself, that empty feeling deep inside—that cold wind that blows through you—will go away.
Jesus said, “My purpose is to give life in all its fullness” (John 10:10, TLB). So let Him fill the emptiness inside. Tell Him how you feel. He cares!
Next you will notice that you are becoming less self-centered.
The first S stands for SELFISHNESS.
I have known people who have come into recovery thinking that the Lord’s Prayer was “Our Father who art in heaven … Give me … give me … give me!” Luke 17:33 (TLB) tells us, “Whoever clings to his life shall lose it, and whoever loses his life shall save it.” Simply said, selfishness is at the heart of most problems between people.
The last thing that we give up when we admit that we are powerless is SEPARATION.
Some people talk about “finding” God—as if He could ever be lost.
Separation from God can feel real, but it is never permanent. Remember, He seeks the lost. When we can’t find God, we need to ask ourselves, “Who moved?” I’ll give you a hint. It wasn’t God!
For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels won’t, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God’s love away.… Nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us (Romans 8:38–39, TLB).
The power to change only comes from God’s grace.
Are you ready to truly begin your journey of recovery? Are you ready to stop denying the pain? Are you ready to stop playing God? Are you ready to start admitting your powerlessness? To start admitting that your life has become unmanageable? If you are, share it with your group tonight.
I encourage you to start working and living this program in earnest. If we admit we are powerless, we need a power greater than ourselves to restore us. That power is your Higher Power—Jesus Christ!
Let’s close in prayer.
Dear God, Your Word tells me that I can’t heal my hurts, hang-ups, and habits by just saying that they are not there. Help me! Parts of my life, or all of my life, are out of control. I now know that I cannot “fix” myself. It seems the harder that I try to do the right thing the more I struggle. Lord, I want to step out of my denial into the truth. I pray for You to show me the way. In Your Son’s name, Amen.
Principle 1 Testimony
Hi, my name is John. I’m a believer who struggles with alcoholism. My story is all about God taking me back when I finally gave up on doing it my way. You see, I had a great start in life. I was raised in a good Christian home. I was the child prodigy in my church, and many predicted I would take over for Billy Graham when he retired. Later in life I earned a master’s degree from Fuller Seminary. In essence, I was trained for a life of ministry.
I threw all of that away, however, for what the Bible calls “the lusts of the flesh” and what I thought was a call to freedom. How did that happen? As you will see, I made the mistake of thinking I was strong enough to live life on my own terms.
My earliest memories are about God and Jesus. I remember asking my dad, “Why doesn’t everybody believe in Jesus? It’s so easy.” (At the time I was praying that Nikita Khrushchev would become a Christian.) My dad answered, “When you get older, you’ll understand. It gets harder to believe.” My dad meant no harm, but the mind of a seven-year-old is a tender thing. I took his observation as a mandate: If I was going to grow up, I was going to have doubts. Shortly thereafter, I began to lose confidence in my relationship with God.
The struggle to rediscover a simple childlike faith would be the defining theme of my life for the next forty years. I discovered binge drinking in college during my senior year. But the need to try to earn God’s acceptance persisted. If anybody could get God to give them a standing ovation, I was going to be that man. I married a good Christian girl from a good Christian home and entered Fuller Seminary. I had been a lazy undergrad student. Consequently I had two things to prove: first that I was indeed the spiritual giant my dad and others had always expected me to be, and second, that my intellectual prowess had no equal. I graduated from Fuller with a 3.8 GPA, a master’s degree in divinity, and some major anxiety attacks. You see, all that head knowledge was worthless because I was performing a religion for God instead of having a relationship with God.
My self-doubts about God’s salvation had spread to all areas of my life. I had even begun to doubt my very manhood, so I entered therapy. There I found that much of my low self-esteem could be explained away by an overactive “inner parent” who constantly demanded perfection. Good sound psychology as far as it goes, but it fell short of the saving conclusion the Big Book states that we all have to make: “ … any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.” Jesus put it another way in the real Big Book, the Bible: “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it” (Mark 8:35).
After starting a Ph.D. program in historical theology, I left Fuller and joined the business world. About a year later, a woman who was like a second mother to me died suddenly of a brain tumor. In spite of my pleading with God, Jan died that night, and I completed my walk away from God. Instead of turning to God in this time of loss, I used that dear woman’s death as a convenient excuse to give up on God and satisfy all of my pent-up desires for wine, women, and song.
I was riding high in 1984. I had plenty of money, a home in Anaheim Hills, and I was surrounded by women who were openly available. I began to commit adultery after nine years of marriage. My excuse for being unfaithful was that my wife was not “exciting” enough. Excuses helped me to justify a divorce. Excuses and alcohol always gave me a way to deny the pain and deny what I had become: totally self-centered and egotistical. I found a gorgeous girlfriend who looked good on my arm, and I went into party mode for the balance of the ’80s. Alcohol and cocaine were the order of the day. Believe it or not, that gorgeous girlfriend became my wife and remains my wife to this day in spite of all the hurt and heartache I have caused in her life. In 1993 our daughter was born. My little girl made me start to realize that I was not the center of the universe. I knew my family should be the center, but I continued to drink and act like an irresponsible adolescent.
Finally, in early 1994, my wife told me enough was enough. That was my wake-up call. I knew I had to get my life together or I was going to lose my wife and my little girl, both of whom I loved with all of my heart. I stopped going out to the bars but continued to drink at home. Drinking became a way to pass out every night and perpetuate the denial that had become my existence.
It took another two years, but in March of 1996, at the urging of my wife, we started attending Saddleback. Every Sunday, always nursing a hangover, I would be moved to tears by the music. God, through Pastor Rick, would touch my heart with some observation from the Bible that all my “enormous” Bible study skills had never uncovered before.
One Sunday, another John from our Celebrate Recovery group gave his testimony. Like me, he was a functional alcoholic. His story and the ministry of this church made me start to hope again that it was possible to have a relationship with a God of love rather than a God of judgment.
June 11, 1996 was my first day of sobriety. I came to our recovery meeting with a feeling that there was no place else to go. If I mentioned all of the men in this group who have helped me on the road to recovery, we would be here a lot longer than the time I have been allotted! However, I have to mention my brother Kenny. That first night, with a lot of love and not a lot of formal education, Ken helped me, Mr. Intellectual, complete four-word sentences as I tried to explain why I was there.
On Day 8 I wrote this in my journal: “I am still searching for a God that I know is there. Perhaps my God is too small, perhaps He is not there. I fervently hope that is not true; I have nowhere else to go.” I knew beyond any doubt that alcohol was just a symptom. I was in a life-or-death search for the God who could make sense out of my life. On June 26, after a short meeting with Pastor John, one verse he shared with me finally cut through all of my denial. It was Psalm 46:10: “Be still, and know that I am God.” It was as if God was saying to me, “Stop trying to maintain the facade, stop making excuses for your life, that is why I died for you. Be still, relax, and accept My gift of freedom.”
I came home to my Abba, my Daddy in heaven. Like the prodigal son who finally realized that being a servant in his father’s house was much better than living like a pig on his own, I finally admitted how much I needed God’s help to manage my life. When I did, He welcomed me home with great joy, and the party (Luke 15:23) God threw for me and my family was overwhelming. In less than a month, my wife and I were baptized together by Pastor John, joined Saddleback Church, and dedicated our little girl to God.
I continue to be amazed at the peace I feel as I learn to let go of my own control and allow God to direct me. For the first time in forty years, I am praying an adult version of the prayer I prayed at the age of seven: “God, thank You, life is so simple when I turn everything over to You.” The belief of a child, tempered by forty years of life, gives me a peace and serenity that I never imagined possible.
Thank you.
“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Romans 7:18)
In Step 1, we realize we’re not God. We admit we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and that our lives have become unmanageable.
As soon as we take this step and admit that we are powerless, we start to change. We see that our old ways of trying to control our hurts, hang-ups, and habits didn’t work. They were buried by our denial and held on to with our false power.
Today I would like you to focus on four actions: two things we have to stop doing and two things we need to start doing in our recoveries. We need to take these four actions to complete Principle 1.
Four Actions
In my last writing we talked about the first action we need to take.
1. Stop denying the pain.
We said that our denial had at least six negative effects: It disables our feelings, wastes our energy, negates our growth, isolates us from God, alienates us from our relationships, and lengthens our pain.
You are ready to accept Principle 1 when your pain is greater than your fear. In Psalm 6:2–3 (TLB) David talks about a time when he came to the end of his emotional and physical resources: “Pity me, O LORD, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom.” When David’s pain finally surpassed his fear, he was able to face his denial and feel the reality of his pain. In the same way, if you want to be rid of your pain, you must face it and go through it.
The second action we need to take is to
2. Stop playing God.
You are either going to serve God or yourself. You can’t do both! Matthew 6:24 (GNB) says, “No one can be a slave to two masters; he will hate one and love the other; he will be loyal to one and despise the other.”
Another term for serving “ourselves” is serving the “flesh.” Flesh is the Bible’s word for our unperfected human nature, our sin nature.
I love this illustration: If you leave the h off the end of flesh and reverse the remaining letters, you spell the word self. Flesh is the self-life. It is what we are when we are left to our own devices.
When our “self” is out of control, all attempts at control—of self or others—fail. In fact, our attempt to control ourselves and others is what got us into trouble in the first place. God needs to be the one in control.
There are two jobs: God’s and mine! We have been trying to do God’s job, and we can’t!
On the flip side, He won’t do our job. We need to do the footwork! We need to admit that we are not God and that our lives are unmanageable without Him. Then, when we have finally emptied ourselves, God will have room to come in and begin His healing work.
Let’s go on now to the third action we need to take:
3. Start admitting our powerlessness.
The lust of power is not rooted in our strengths but our weaknesses. We need to realize our human weaknesses and quit trying to do it by ourselves. We need to admit that we are powerless and turn our lives over to God. Jesus knew how difficult this is. He said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).
When we keep doing things that we don’t want to do and when we fail to do the things we’ve decided we need to do, we begin to see that we do not, in fact, have the power to change that we thought we had. Life is coming into focus more clearly than ever before.
The last action we need to take is to
4. Start admitting that our lives have become unmanageable.
The only reason we consider that there’s something wrong, or that we need to talk to somebody, or that we need to take this step is because we finally are able to admit that some area—or all areas—of our lives have become unmanageable!
It is with this admission that you finally realize you are out of control and are powerless to do anything on your own. When I got to this part of my recovery I shared David’s feelings that he expressed in Psalm 40:12 (TLB): “Problems far too big for me to solve are piled higher than my head. Meanwhile my sins, too many to count, have all caught up with me and I am ashamed to look up.”
Does that sound familiar? Only when your pain is greater than your fear will you be ready to honestly take the first step, admitting that you are powerless and your life is unmanageable.
what happens when we admit we are POWERLESS. We begin to give up the following “serenity robbers”:
Pride
Only ifs
Worry
Escape
Resentment
Loneliness
Emptiness
Selfishness
Separation
The first letter in the acrostic is P. We start to see that we no longer are trapped by our PRIDE: “Pride ends in a fall, while humility brings honor” (Proverbs 29:23, TLB).
Ignorance + power + pride = a deadly mixture
Our false pride undermines our faith and it cuts us off from God and others. When God’s presence is welcome, there is no room for pride because He makes us aware of our true self.
Next we begin to lose the ONLY ifs. That’s the O in Powerless.
Have you ever had a case of the “only ifs”?
Only if they hadn’t walked out.
Only if I had stopped drinking.
Only if this. Only if that.
How reluctantly the mind consents to reality. But when we admit that we are powerless, we start walking in the truth, rather than living in the fantasy land of rationalization.
Luke 12:2–3 (GNB) tells us: “Whatever is covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. So then, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in broad daylight.”
The next letter in powerless is the W, which stands for WORRYING. And don’t tell me that worrying doesn’t do any good; I know better. The things I worry about never happen!
All worrying is a form of not trusting God enough! Instead of worrying about things that we cannot possibly do, we need to focus on what God can do. Keep a copy of the Serenity Prayer in your pocket and your heart to remind you.
By working this program and completing the steps you can find that trust, that relationship, with the one and only Higher Power, Jesus Christ, so that the worrying begins to go away.
Matthew 6:34 (TLB) tells us, “Don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time.”
The next thing that happens when we admit we are powerless is that we quit trying to ESCAPE. That’s the E.
Before we admitted we were powerless, we tried to escape and hide from our hurts, habits, and hang-ups by getting involved in unhealthy relationships, by abusing drugs such as alcohol, by eating or not eating, and so forth.
Trying to escape pain drains us of precious energy. When we take this first step, however, God opens true escape routes to show His power and grace. “For the light is capable of showing up everything for what it really is. It is possible for the light to turn the thing it shines upon into light also” (Ephesians 5:13–14, PH).
The R in powerless stands for RESENTMENTS.
If they are suppressed and allowed to fester, resentments can act like emotional cancer.
Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:26–27: “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
As you continue to work the principles, you will come to understand that in letting go of your resentments, by offering your forgiveness to those that have hurt you, you are not just freeing the person who harmed you, you are freeing you!
But if we try to maintain our false power, we become isolated and alone. That’s the L in powerless: LONELINESS.
When you admit that you are powerless and start to face reality, you will find that you do not have to be alone.
Do you know that loneliness is a choice? In recovery and in Christ, you never have to walk alone again.
Do you know that caring for the lonely can cure loneliness? Get involved! Get involved in the church or in your neighborhood or here at Celebrate Recovery! If you become a regular here, I guarantee that you won’t be lonely.
“Continue to love each other with true brotherly love. Don’t forget to be kind to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!” (Hebrews 13:1–2, TLB).
When you admit you are powerless you also give up another E, the EMPTINESS.
When you finally admit that you are truly powerless by yourself, that empty feeling deep inside—that cold wind that blows through you—will go away.
Jesus said, “My purpose is to give life in all its fullness” (John 10:10, TLB). So let Him fill the emptiness inside. Tell Him how you feel. He cares!
Next you will notice that you are becoming less self-centered.
The first S stands for SELFISHNESS.
I have known people who have come into recovery thinking that the Lord’s Prayer was “Our Father who art in heaven … Give me … give me … give me!” Luke 17:33 (TLB) tells us, “Whoever clings to his life shall lose it, and whoever loses his life shall save it.” Simply said, selfishness is at the heart of most problems between people.
The last thing that we give up when we admit that we are powerless is SEPARATION.
Some people talk about “finding” God—as if He could ever be lost.
Separation from God can feel real, but it is never permanent. Remember, He seeks the lost. When we can’t find God, we need to ask ourselves, “Who moved?” I’ll give you a hint. It wasn’t God!
For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels won’t, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God’s love away.… Nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us (Romans 8:38–39, TLB).
The power to change only comes from God’s grace.
Are you ready to truly begin your journey of recovery? Are you ready to stop denying the pain? Are you ready to stop playing God? Are you ready to start admitting your powerlessness? To start admitting that your life has become unmanageable? If you are, share it with your group tonight.
I encourage you to start working and living this program in earnest. If we admit we are powerless, we need a power greater than ourselves to restore us. That power is your Higher Power—Jesus Christ!
Let’s close in prayer.
Dear God, Your Word tells me that I can’t heal my hurts, hang-ups, and habits by just saying that they are not there. Help me! Parts of my life, or all of my life, are out of control. I now know that I cannot “fix” myself. It seems the harder that I try to do the right thing the more I struggle. Lord, I want to step out of my denial into the truth. I pray for You to show me the way. In Your Son’s name, Amen.
Principle 1 Testimony
Hi, my name is John. I’m a believer who struggles with alcoholism. My story is all about God taking me back when I finally gave up on doing it my way. You see, I had a great start in life. I was raised in a good Christian home. I was the child prodigy in my church, and many predicted I would take over for Billy Graham when he retired. Later in life I earned a master’s degree from Fuller Seminary. In essence, I was trained for a life of ministry.
I threw all of that away, however, for what the Bible calls “the lusts of the flesh” and what I thought was a call to freedom. How did that happen? As you will see, I made the mistake of thinking I was strong enough to live life on my own terms.
My earliest memories are about God and Jesus. I remember asking my dad, “Why doesn’t everybody believe in Jesus? It’s so easy.” (At the time I was praying that Nikita Khrushchev would become a Christian.) My dad answered, “When you get older, you’ll understand. It gets harder to believe.” My dad meant no harm, but the mind of a seven-year-old is a tender thing. I took his observation as a mandate: If I was going to grow up, I was going to have doubts. Shortly thereafter, I began to lose confidence in my relationship with God.
The struggle to rediscover a simple childlike faith would be the defining theme of my life for the next forty years. I discovered binge drinking in college during my senior year. But the need to try to earn God’s acceptance persisted. If anybody could get God to give them a standing ovation, I was going to be that man. I married a good Christian girl from a good Christian home and entered Fuller Seminary. I had been a lazy undergrad student. Consequently I had two things to prove: first that I was indeed the spiritual giant my dad and others had always expected me to be, and second, that my intellectual prowess had no equal. I graduated from Fuller with a 3.8 GPA, a master’s degree in divinity, and some major anxiety attacks. You see, all that head knowledge was worthless because I was performing a religion for God instead of having a relationship with God.
My self-doubts about God’s salvation had spread to all areas of my life. I had even begun to doubt my very manhood, so I entered therapy. There I found that much of my low self-esteem could be explained away by an overactive “inner parent” who constantly demanded perfection. Good sound psychology as far as it goes, but it fell short of the saving conclusion the Big Book states that we all have to make: “ … any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.” Jesus put it another way in the real Big Book, the Bible: “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it” (Mark 8:35).
After starting a Ph.D. program in historical theology, I left Fuller and joined the business world. About a year later, a woman who was like a second mother to me died suddenly of a brain tumor. In spite of my pleading with God, Jan died that night, and I completed my walk away from God. Instead of turning to God in this time of loss, I used that dear woman’s death as a convenient excuse to give up on God and satisfy all of my pent-up desires for wine, women, and song.
I was riding high in 1984. I had plenty of money, a home in Anaheim Hills, and I was surrounded by women who were openly available. I began to commit adultery after nine years of marriage. My excuse for being unfaithful was that my wife was not “exciting” enough. Excuses helped me to justify a divorce. Excuses and alcohol always gave me a way to deny the pain and deny what I had become: totally self-centered and egotistical. I found a gorgeous girlfriend who looked good on my arm, and I went into party mode for the balance of the ’80s. Alcohol and cocaine were the order of the day. Believe it or not, that gorgeous girlfriend became my wife and remains my wife to this day in spite of all the hurt and heartache I have caused in her life. In 1993 our daughter was born. My little girl made me start to realize that I was not the center of the universe. I knew my family should be the center, but I continued to drink and act like an irresponsible adolescent.
Finally, in early 1994, my wife told me enough was enough. That was my wake-up call. I knew I had to get my life together or I was going to lose my wife and my little girl, both of whom I loved with all of my heart. I stopped going out to the bars but continued to drink at home. Drinking became a way to pass out every night and perpetuate the denial that had become my existence.
It took another two years, but in March of 1996, at the urging of my wife, we started attending Saddleback. Every Sunday, always nursing a hangover, I would be moved to tears by the music. God, through Pastor Rick, would touch my heart with some observation from the Bible that all my “enormous” Bible study skills had never uncovered before.
One Sunday, another John from our Celebrate Recovery group gave his testimony. Like me, he was a functional alcoholic. His story and the ministry of this church made me start to hope again that it was possible to have a relationship with a God of love rather than a God of judgment.
June 11, 1996 was my first day of sobriety. I came to our recovery meeting with a feeling that there was no place else to go. If I mentioned all of the men in this group who have helped me on the road to recovery, we would be here a lot longer than the time I have been allotted! However, I have to mention my brother Kenny. That first night, with a lot of love and not a lot of formal education, Ken helped me, Mr. Intellectual, complete four-word sentences as I tried to explain why I was there.
On Day 8 I wrote this in my journal: “I am still searching for a God that I know is there. Perhaps my God is too small, perhaps He is not there. I fervently hope that is not true; I have nowhere else to go.” I knew beyond any doubt that alcohol was just a symptom. I was in a life-or-death search for the God who could make sense out of my life. On June 26, after a short meeting with Pastor John, one verse he shared with me finally cut through all of my denial. It was Psalm 46:10: “Be still, and know that I am God.” It was as if God was saying to me, “Stop trying to maintain the facade, stop making excuses for your life, that is why I died for you. Be still, relax, and accept My gift of freedom.”
I came home to my Abba, my Daddy in heaven. Like the prodigal son who finally realized that being a servant in his father’s house was much better than living like a pig on his own, I finally admitted how much I needed God’s help to manage my life. When I did, He welcomed me home with great joy, and the party (Luke 15:23) God threw for me and my family was overwhelming. In less than a month, my wife and I were baptized together by Pastor John, joined Saddleback Church, and dedicated our little girl to God.
I continue to be amazed at the peace I feel as I learn to let go of my own control and allow God to direct me. For the first time in forty years, I am praying an adult version of the prayer I prayed at the age of seven: “God, thank You, life is so simple when I turn everything over to You.” The belief of a child, tempered by forty years of life, gives me a peace and serenity that I never imagined possible.
Thank you.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Denial
“Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.” (Matthew 5:3)
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Romans 7:18)
Introduction
On step 1 of recovery, we begin a journey together, a journey on the road of recovery. This journey begins with Principle 1, where we admit that we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and that our lives have become unmanageable, out of control. But before we begin this exciting journey together, we need to ask ourselves two questions:
Am I going to let my past failures prevent me from taking this journey?
Am I afraid to change? Or, what are my fears of the future?
Failures from the Past
Let’s look at Hebrews 12:1 (TLB):
Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.
There are two things I would like to point out in this verse. First, God has a particular race, a unique plan, for each of us. A plan for good, not a life full of dependencies, addictions, and obsessions.
The second thing is that we need to be willing to get rid of all the unnecessary baggage, the past failures, in our lives that keep us stuck. Again, it says, “Let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up.”
For many of us, our past hurts, hang-ups, and habits hold us back, trip us up! Many of us are stuck in bitterness over what someone has done to us. We continue to hold on to the hurt and we refuse to forgive the ones who had hurt us.
You may have been hurt deeply. Perhaps you were abused as a child, or maybe you were or are in a marriage where your spouse committed adultery.
I want you to know that I hurt for you. I’m truly sorry for you, sorry that you had to go through that hurt. But holding on to that hurt and not being willing to forgive the person who hurt you in the past is allowing them to continue to hurt you today, in the present.
Working this Christ-centered recovery program will, with God’s power, allow you to find the courage and strength to forgive them. Now don’t get all stressed out. You don’t have to forgive them just yet in this step. But as you travel your road to recovery, God will help you find the willingness to forgive them and be free of their hold on your life.This really does happen every day at Celebrate Recovery
Some of you are bound by guilt. You keep beating yourself up over some past failure. You’re trapped, stuck in your guilt. You think that no one anywhere is as bad as you are, that no one could love the real you, and that no one could ever forgive you for the terrible things that you have done.
You’re wrong. God can. That’s why Jesus went to the cross, for our sins. He knows everything you’ve ever done and everything you’ve ever experienced. And there are many in our group here at TCF that have faced similar failures and hurts in their life and have accepted Christ’s forgiveness. They are here to encourage and support you.
The apostle Paul had a lot to regret about his past. He even participated in Stephen’s murder. Yet in Philippians 3:13 (TLB) he tells us, “No, dear brothers, I am still not all I should be but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.”
Here’s the bottom line if you want to be free from your past hurts, hang-ups, and habits: You need to deal with your past bitterness and guilt once and for all. You need to do as Isaiah 43:18 tells us, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” That doesn’t mean ignore the past. You need to learn from your past, offer forgiveness, make amends, and then release it. Only then can you be free from your guilt, grudges, and grief!
Let’s face it, we have all stumbled over a hurt, hang-up, or habit. But the race isn’t over yet. God isn’t interested in how we started, but how we finish the race.
Fears for the Future
You may worry about your future and are afraid to change. We all worry about things that we do not have any control over and do not have the power to change. And we all know worrying is a lack of trust in God.
The truth is, we can say without any doubt or fear, “The Lord is my Helper and I am not afraid of anything that mere man can do to me” (Hebrews 13:6, TLB).
You may have been in your hurt, habit, or hang-up for so long that it has become your identity. You may be thinking, “What will happen if I really give recovery a chance? Will I change? If I give up my old hurts, hang-ups, and habits, what will I become? Who will I be?”
You may have been abusing alcohol, prescription drugs, or food. You’re afraid of what you will do without your substance of choice.
You may have been enabling someone in a dysfunctional relationship for years. Perhaps you wonder, “What if I change and my alcoholic husband gets mad at me?”
God doesn’t want you to stay frozen in an unhealthy relationship or a bad habit. He wants you to do your part in becoming healthy.
Even if our past was extremely painful, however, we may still resist change and the freedom that can be found in really working this program. Because of our fear of the unknown or because of our despair, we just close our minds because we think that we don’t deserve any better.
As you work the principles and steps remember 1 John 4:18 (NCV): “Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out fear.”
You are not reading this article by mistake. Celebrat Recovery is full of changed lives. It is my prayer for each of you that you will not let your past failures or your fear of your future stop you from giving Celebrate Recovery a real try.
Are you wearing a mask of denial? Before you can make any progress in your recovery, you need to face your denial. As soon as you remove your mask, your recovery begins—or begins again! It doesn’t matter if you’re new in recovery or have been in recovery, working the steps for years. Denial can rear its ugly head and return at any time! You may trade addictions or get into a new relationship that’s unhealthy for you in a different way than the previous one. So this lesson is for all of us.
We have an old and overused saying around here: “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.” But what is it?
What Is Denial?
Denial has been defined as “a false system of beliefs that are not based on reality” and “a self-protecting behavior that keeps us from honestly facing the truth.”
As kids we all learned various coping skills. They came in handy when we didn’t get the attention we wanted from our parents and others or to block our pain and our fears.
For a time these coping systems worked. But as the years progressed they confused and clouded our view of the truth of our lives.
As we grew, our perception of ourselves and our expectations of all those around us also grew. But because we retained our childish methods of coping, our perceptions of reality became increasingly more unrealistic and distorted.
Our coping skills grew into denial, and most of our relationships ended up broken or less fulfilling than they could have been.
Did you ever deny that your parents had problems? Did you ever deny that you had problems? The truth is, we can all answer yes to these questions to some extent. But, for some of us, that denial turned to shame and guilt.
Denial is the “Pink Elephant” sitting in the middle of the living room. No one in the family talks about it or acknowledges it in any way. Do any of the following comments sound familiar to you?
• “Can’t we stop talking about it? Talking only makes it worse.”
• “Billy, if we don’t talk about it, it will go away.”
• “Honey, let’s pretend that it didn’t really happen.”
• “If I tell her that it hurts me when she says that, I’m afraid she will leave me.”
• “He really doesn’t drink that much.”
• “It really doesn’t hurt when he does that; I’m fine!”
• “Paul drinks more than I do.”
• “Joan has been married three times; I’ve only been married twice.”
• “I eat because you make me so mad!”
• “If you didn’t nag me all the time, I wouldn’t …”
• “Look honey, I have a tough job; I work hard. I need a few drinks to relax. It doesn’t mean that I have a problem.”
Folks, that’s DENIAL.
As I said earlier, before we can take the first step of our recovery, we must first face and admit our denial. God says in Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB), “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!”
Denial DISABLES our feelings. Hiding our feelings, living in denial, freezes our emotions and binds us. Understanding and feeling our feelings is where we find freedom.
Second Peter 2:19 (GNB) tells us: “They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of destructive habits—for a man is a slave of anything that has conquered him.”
For me, the basic test of freedom is not what I’m free to do, it’s what I’m free not to do! I’m free not to take that drink.
We find freedom to feel our true feelings when we find Christ and step out of denial.
A major side-effect of denial is anxiety. Anxiety causes us to waste precious energy dealing with past hurts and failures and the fear of the future. As you go though this program you will learn that it is only in the present that positive change can occur. Worrying about the past and dreading the future makes us unable to live and enjoy God’s plans for us in the present.
We let our fears and our worries paralyze us, but the only lasting way we can be free from them is by giving them to God. Psalm 146:7 (TLB) says, “He frees the prisoners, … he lifts the burdens from those bent down beneath their loads.”
If you will transfer the energy required to maintain your denial into learning God’s truth, a healthy love for others and yourself will occur. As you depend more and more on your Higher Power, Jesus Christ, you will see the light of truth and reality.
We are as sick as our secrets and, again, we cannot grow in recovery until we are ready to step out of our denial into the truth. God is waiting to take your hand and bring you out. The Bible says, “They cried to the Lord in their troubles, and he rescued them! He led them from the darkness and shadow of death and snapped their chains” (Psalm 107:13–14, TLB).
As you travel the road of your recovery you will come to understand that God never wastes a hurt; God will never waste your darkness. But He can’t use it unless you step out of your denial into the light of His truth.
Denial also ISOLATES us from God.
Adam and Eve are a great example of how secrets and denial separate us from true fellowship with God. After they sinned, their secret separated them from God. Genesis 3:7 tells us that Adam and Eve hid from God because they felt naked and ashamed.
Of course, good old Adam tried to rationalize. He said to God, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree” (Genesis 3:12). First he tried to blame God, saying, “The woman you put here with me …” Then he tried to blame it on Eve: “She gave me some fruit.”
Remember, God’s light shines on the truth. Our denial keeps us in the dark. “God is light, in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin” (1 John 1:5–7).
Our denial not only isolates us from God, it ALIENATES us from our relationships.
Denial tells us we are getting away with it. We think no one knows, but they do. But while denial may shield us from the hurt, it also keeps us from helping ourselves or the people we love the most. We don’t dare reveal our true selves to others for fear of what they will think or say if they knew the real us. We must protect ourselves—our secrets—at any cost. So we isolate ourselves and thereby minimize the risk of exposure and possible rejection from others. But at what price? The eventual loss of all our important relationships.
What’s the answer? Listen to Ephesians 4:25 (TLB). “Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each other and when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves.”
Remember it is always better to tell the ugly truth rather than a beautiful lie.
Finally, denial LENGTHENS the pain.
We have the false belief that denial protects us from our pain. In reality, denial allows our pain to fester and grow and to turn into shame and guilt. Denial extends your hurt. It multiplies your problems.
Truth, like surgery, may hurt for a while, but it cures. God promises us in Jeremiah 30:17 (TLB), “I will give you back your health again and heal your wounds.”
I encourage you to step out of your denial! Walking out of your denial is not easy. Taking off that mask is hard. Everything about you shouts, “Don’t do it! It’s not safe!” But it is safe. It’s safe at Celebrate Recovery. Here you have people who care about you and who love you for who you are—people who will stand beside you as truth becomes a way of life.
Jesus tells us, “Know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). Step out of your denial so you can step into Jesus’ unconditional love and grace and begin your healing journey of recovery.
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Romans 7:18)
Introduction
On step 1 of recovery, we begin a journey together, a journey on the road of recovery. This journey begins with Principle 1, where we admit that we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and that our lives have become unmanageable, out of control. But before we begin this exciting journey together, we need to ask ourselves two questions:
Am I going to let my past failures prevent me from taking this journey?
Am I afraid to change? Or, what are my fears of the future?
Failures from the Past
Let’s look at Hebrews 12:1 (TLB):
Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.
There are two things I would like to point out in this verse. First, God has a particular race, a unique plan, for each of us. A plan for good, not a life full of dependencies, addictions, and obsessions.
The second thing is that we need to be willing to get rid of all the unnecessary baggage, the past failures, in our lives that keep us stuck. Again, it says, “Let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up.”
For many of us, our past hurts, hang-ups, and habits hold us back, trip us up! Many of us are stuck in bitterness over what someone has done to us. We continue to hold on to the hurt and we refuse to forgive the ones who had hurt us.
You may have been hurt deeply. Perhaps you were abused as a child, or maybe you were or are in a marriage where your spouse committed adultery.
I want you to know that I hurt for you. I’m truly sorry for you, sorry that you had to go through that hurt. But holding on to that hurt and not being willing to forgive the person who hurt you in the past is allowing them to continue to hurt you today, in the present.
Working this Christ-centered recovery program will, with God’s power, allow you to find the courage and strength to forgive them. Now don’t get all stressed out. You don’t have to forgive them just yet in this step. But as you travel your road to recovery, God will help you find the willingness to forgive them and be free of their hold on your life.This really does happen every day at Celebrate Recovery
Some of you are bound by guilt. You keep beating yourself up over some past failure. You’re trapped, stuck in your guilt. You think that no one anywhere is as bad as you are, that no one could love the real you, and that no one could ever forgive you for the terrible things that you have done.
You’re wrong. God can. That’s why Jesus went to the cross, for our sins. He knows everything you’ve ever done and everything you’ve ever experienced. And there are many in our group here at TCF that have faced similar failures and hurts in their life and have accepted Christ’s forgiveness. They are here to encourage and support you.
The apostle Paul had a lot to regret about his past. He even participated in Stephen’s murder. Yet in Philippians 3:13 (TLB) he tells us, “No, dear brothers, I am still not all I should be but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.”
Here’s the bottom line if you want to be free from your past hurts, hang-ups, and habits: You need to deal with your past bitterness and guilt once and for all. You need to do as Isaiah 43:18 tells us, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” That doesn’t mean ignore the past. You need to learn from your past, offer forgiveness, make amends, and then release it. Only then can you be free from your guilt, grudges, and grief!
Let’s face it, we have all stumbled over a hurt, hang-up, or habit. But the race isn’t over yet. God isn’t interested in how we started, but how we finish the race.
Fears for the Future
You may worry about your future and are afraid to change. We all worry about things that we do not have any control over and do not have the power to change. And we all know worrying is a lack of trust in God.
The truth is, we can say without any doubt or fear, “The Lord is my Helper and I am not afraid of anything that mere man can do to me” (Hebrews 13:6, TLB).
You may have been in your hurt, habit, or hang-up for so long that it has become your identity. You may be thinking, “What will happen if I really give recovery a chance? Will I change? If I give up my old hurts, hang-ups, and habits, what will I become? Who will I be?”
You may have been abusing alcohol, prescription drugs, or food. You’re afraid of what you will do without your substance of choice.
You may have been enabling someone in a dysfunctional relationship for years. Perhaps you wonder, “What if I change and my alcoholic husband gets mad at me?”
God doesn’t want you to stay frozen in an unhealthy relationship or a bad habit. He wants you to do your part in becoming healthy.
Even if our past was extremely painful, however, we may still resist change and the freedom that can be found in really working this program. Because of our fear of the unknown or because of our despair, we just close our minds because we think that we don’t deserve any better.
As you work the principles and steps remember 1 John 4:18 (NCV): “Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out fear.”
You are not reading this article by mistake. Celebrat Recovery is full of changed lives. It is my prayer for each of you that you will not let your past failures or your fear of your future stop you from giving Celebrate Recovery a real try.
Are you wearing a mask of denial? Before you can make any progress in your recovery, you need to face your denial. As soon as you remove your mask, your recovery begins—or begins again! It doesn’t matter if you’re new in recovery or have been in recovery, working the steps for years. Denial can rear its ugly head and return at any time! You may trade addictions or get into a new relationship that’s unhealthy for you in a different way than the previous one. So this lesson is for all of us.
We have an old and overused saying around here: “Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.” But what is it?
What Is Denial?
Denial has been defined as “a false system of beliefs that are not based on reality” and “a self-protecting behavior that keeps us from honestly facing the truth.”
As kids we all learned various coping skills. They came in handy when we didn’t get the attention we wanted from our parents and others or to block our pain and our fears.
For a time these coping systems worked. But as the years progressed they confused and clouded our view of the truth of our lives.
As we grew, our perception of ourselves and our expectations of all those around us also grew. But because we retained our childish methods of coping, our perceptions of reality became increasingly more unrealistic and distorted.
Our coping skills grew into denial, and most of our relationships ended up broken or less fulfilling than they could have been.
Did you ever deny that your parents had problems? Did you ever deny that you had problems? The truth is, we can all answer yes to these questions to some extent. But, for some of us, that denial turned to shame and guilt.
Denial is the “Pink Elephant” sitting in the middle of the living room. No one in the family talks about it or acknowledges it in any way. Do any of the following comments sound familiar to you?
• “Can’t we stop talking about it? Talking only makes it worse.”
• “Billy, if we don’t talk about it, it will go away.”
• “Honey, let’s pretend that it didn’t really happen.”
• “If I tell her that it hurts me when she says that, I’m afraid she will leave me.”
• “He really doesn’t drink that much.”
• “It really doesn’t hurt when he does that; I’m fine!”
• “Paul drinks more than I do.”
• “Joan has been married three times; I’ve only been married twice.”
• “I eat because you make me so mad!”
• “If you didn’t nag me all the time, I wouldn’t …”
• “Look honey, I have a tough job; I work hard. I need a few drinks to relax. It doesn’t mean that I have a problem.”
Folks, that’s DENIAL.
As I said earlier, before we can take the first step of our recovery, we must first face and admit our denial. God says in Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB), “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!”
Denial DISABLES our feelings. Hiding our feelings, living in denial, freezes our emotions and binds us. Understanding and feeling our feelings is where we find freedom.
Second Peter 2:19 (GNB) tells us: “They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of destructive habits—for a man is a slave of anything that has conquered him.”
For me, the basic test of freedom is not what I’m free to do, it’s what I’m free not to do! I’m free not to take that drink.
We find freedom to feel our true feelings when we find Christ and step out of denial.
A major side-effect of denial is anxiety. Anxiety causes us to waste precious energy dealing with past hurts and failures and the fear of the future. As you go though this program you will learn that it is only in the present that positive change can occur. Worrying about the past and dreading the future makes us unable to live and enjoy God’s plans for us in the present.
We let our fears and our worries paralyze us, but the only lasting way we can be free from them is by giving them to God. Psalm 146:7 (TLB) says, “He frees the prisoners, … he lifts the burdens from those bent down beneath their loads.”
If you will transfer the energy required to maintain your denial into learning God’s truth, a healthy love for others and yourself will occur. As you depend more and more on your Higher Power, Jesus Christ, you will see the light of truth and reality.
We are as sick as our secrets and, again, we cannot grow in recovery until we are ready to step out of our denial into the truth. God is waiting to take your hand and bring you out. The Bible says, “They cried to the Lord in their troubles, and he rescued them! He led them from the darkness and shadow of death and snapped their chains” (Psalm 107:13–14, TLB).
As you travel the road of your recovery you will come to understand that God never wastes a hurt; God will never waste your darkness. But He can’t use it unless you step out of your denial into the light of His truth.
Denial also ISOLATES us from God.
Adam and Eve are a great example of how secrets and denial separate us from true fellowship with God. After they sinned, their secret separated them from God. Genesis 3:7 tells us that Adam and Eve hid from God because they felt naked and ashamed.
Of course, good old Adam tried to rationalize. He said to God, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree” (Genesis 3:12). First he tried to blame God, saying, “The woman you put here with me …” Then he tried to blame it on Eve: “She gave me some fruit.”
Remember, God’s light shines on the truth. Our denial keeps us in the dark. “God is light, in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin” (1 John 1:5–7).
Our denial not only isolates us from God, it ALIENATES us from our relationships.
Denial tells us we are getting away with it. We think no one knows, but they do. But while denial may shield us from the hurt, it also keeps us from helping ourselves or the people we love the most. We don’t dare reveal our true selves to others for fear of what they will think or say if they knew the real us. We must protect ourselves—our secrets—at any cost. So we isolate ourselves and thereby minimize the risk of exposure and possible rejection from others. But at what price? The eventual loss of all our important relationships.
What’s the answer? Listen to Ephesians 4:25 (TLB). “Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each other and when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves.”
Remember it is always better to tell the ugly truth rather than a beautiful lie.
Finally, denial LENGTHENS the pain.
We have the false belief that denial protects us from our pain. In reality, denial allows our pain to fester and grow and to turn into shame and guilt. Denial extends your hurt. It multiplies your problems.
Truth, like surgery, may hurt for a while, but it cures. God promises us in Jeremiah 30:17 (TLB), “I will give you back your health again and heal your wounds.”
I encourage you to step out of your denial! Walking out of your denial is not easy. Taking off that mask is hard. Everything about you shouts, “Don’t do it! It’s not safe!” But it is safe. It’s safe at Celebrate Recovery. Here you have people who care about you and who love you for who you are—people who will stand beside you as truth becomes a way of life.
Jesus tells us, “Know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). Step out of your denial so you can step into Jesus’ unconditional love and grace and begin your healing journey of recovery.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Jesus is the Power
The most famous verse in the whole Bible is probably John 3:16, which says,
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
You’ve undoubtably seen it on signs at sporting events, written on t-shirts, posted on billboards and even on drink cups at some fast food restaurants. And for good reason, it’s an amazing verse! Here’s Jesus telling us about why He came, who sent Him, and what happens for those who put their faith in Him. It’s a great snapshot of the Gospel message. If you’ve never begun the habit of memorizing Scripture, start with this one.
While John 3:16 is an amazing verse, John 3:17 is just as compelling. Jesus continues by telling us,
“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”
That’s a reassuring statement! Look at the two verses together; first, God loves us enough to send us a Savior, next, if we put our faith in Jesus, if we trust Him as our Lord and Savior, we will have eternal life, and Jesus wasn’t sent to condemn the world as some would have us believe, but to save the world.
That’s where the power for a changed life comes from, from the Savior of the world. Jesus gives us the power for a new life, for a life of freedom from our hurts, hang-ups and habits, but we have to bring them to Him and trust Him to heal us. As we go through Celebrate Recovery we need to ensure that Jesus is the center of our program. We can not do this on our own power. To find change, lasting change, we need to depend wholly on Jesus.
Today, ask yourself, have you been relying on Jesus’ power or your own? If you’ve been relying on Christ’s power, keep it up. Don’t get distracted, don’t stray from the path. But if you find that you’ve begun to rely on anything other than Jesus, a relationship, willpower, a new habit, anything, don’t wait to refocus your attention to Jesus. We all have the tendency to take our eyes off of Jesus, but when we realize we’ve done that, we need to turn to Him in prayer and ask Him for His help to remain focused on and in Him.
Later in the Book of John, Jesus tells us:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
Jesus isn’t a part of recovery, He is recovery. If we want to live a new life, a life free from hurts, hang-ups and habits, we must remain in Jesus. It is only by and through Jesus that you and I can have new lives here on earth, and eternal life in heaven.
Today, what can you do to make sure that you remain in Jesus?
If you find that you have begun to focus on anything else, are you ready to make today the day you focus on Jesus as your Lord and Savior, as your Higher Power?
Don’t put it off any longer. Remember, Jesus didn’t come to condemn us, but to save us.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
You’ve undoubtably seen it on signs at sporting events, written on t-shirts, posted on billboards and even on drink cups at some fast food restaurants. And for good reason, it’s an amazing verse! Here’s Jesus telling us about why He came, who sent Him, and what happens for those who put their faith in Him. It’s a great snapshot of the Gospel message. If you’ve never begun the habit of memorizing Scripture, start with this one.
While John 3:16 is an amazing verse, John 3:17 is just as compelling. Jesus continues by telling us,
“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”
That’s a reassuring statement! Look at the two verses together; first, God loves us enough to send us a Savior, next, if we put our faith in Jesus, if we trust Him as our Lord and Savior, we will have eternal life, and Jesus wasn’t sent to condemn the world as some would have us believe, but to save the world.
That’s where the power for a changed life comes from, from the Savior of the world. Jesus gives us the power for a new life, for a life of freedom from our hurts, hang-ups and habits, but we have to bring them to Him and trust Him to heal us. As we go through Celebrate Recovery we need to ensure that Jesus is the center of our program. We can not do this on our own power. To find change, lasting change, we need to depend wholly on Jesus.
Today, ask yourself, have you been relying on Jesus’ power or your own? If you’ve been relying on Christ’s power, keep it up. Don’t get distracted, don’t stray from the path. But if you find that you’ve begun to rely on anything other than Jesus, a relationship, willpower, a new habit, anything, don’t wait to refocus your attention to Jesus. We all have the tendency to take our eyes off of Jesus, but when we realize we’ve done that, we need to turn to Him in prayer and ask Him for His help to remain focused on and in Him.
Later in the Book of John, Jesus tells us:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
Jesus isn’t a part of recovery, He is recovery. If we want to live a new life, a life free from hurts, hang-ups and habits, we must remain in Jesus. It is only by and through Jesus that you and I can have new lives here on earth, and eternal life in heaven.
Today, what can you do to make sure that you remain in Jesus?
If you find that you have begun to focus on anything else, are you ready to make today the day you focus on Jesus as your Lord and Savior, as your Higher Power?
Don’t put it off any longer. Remember, Jesus didn’t come to condemn us, but to save us.
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